I sleep through six alarm clocks

Yes, the title of this blog post is true. Just about each and every morning, I sleep through six alarm clocks.

Six.

  1. 7.15am the birds start chirping
  2. 7.30am the radio announces the news
  3. 7.45am the beeping starts
  4. 8.00am the cell phone chimes
  5. 8.00am the second beeping begins
  6. 8.15am the iPod plays mid-90s modern rock

Ideally I should be out of the house about 8.45am, but no later than 9am. My work start time is 9.30am, but most days I get in between then and 10am.

This does not please me.

Trouble started back in high school; my parents would often burst into my room around 7am, tired of hearing the alarm beep-beep-beeping for about an hour. My dad would usually turn on all the lights and occasionally throw my blankets off the bed. He jokingly threatened to bring in the pots and pans to wake me up, just like his father used to do with one of his sisters, my aunt.

(Note to self: does said aunt also have DSPS? Must ask!)

My first semester of college—my first time being away from home for an extended period—saw many many missed morning classes. Each weekday, except Wednesday, I had a class at 8.45am, a relatively late first class compared to some colleges. I routinely missed breakfast (I may have gone sometime within the first week of classes) and was almost always late to class.

Summer 1997 I had the perfect between-semesters job: counter-girl at a local pizza shop! The hours were 5-11pm, and I was never once late for work. I also got to eat pizza and cheesesteaks for dinner every night.

In September 1999, however, I got my first real job. In November 1999 I was fired from my first real job. “Habitual tardiness” they said. I couldn’t fight against that excuse.

In 2000 I moved back home with my parents for a while. My brother was just in second grade at the time and we had similar start times, so someone was usually around to make sure I was awake to get to work.

My husband first moved in with me in a one-bedroom apartment in late 2001 (we were married in May 2004). When I received a disciplinary notice at my job he took up the task of waking me every morning, discovering the only way to make sure I arrived at work on time was to drive him to his job!

Now that we’re separated and I don’t live with him, no one is around to wake me up when my six—yes, six—alarm clocks sound off every morning.

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